Say "No" to Them...Say "Yes" to You
There is a ton of content teaching us about boundaries and how to say, “No.” And I certainly needed to be amongst the many to receive this message because for so long I was overextended and exhausted – by choice. However, after I became clearer on the things I needed to say “no” to during this season of my life, I then had to ask myself what I was saying “yes” to. I did not want to start carrying the tone of “no” in my body…in my being. And while setting boundaries and saying “no” has been liberating, I am becoming super intentional about reinforcing and acknowledging what I am saying “yes” to each time I say “no.”
Today, I am sharing some of the things I am committing to saying “yes” to with the hope that you will join me by saying “yes” to at least one or two.
Commit to saying “YES” to things that scare you.
My six-year-old son started going through this phase where he began identifying things that made him afraid. So, everyday for the past couple of weeks, I have reminded him that the only way to become courageous is to do courageous things. He now, with a huge smile, says it along with me. Little does he know, not only is he saying it with me, but he is saying it to and for me.
Commit to saying “YES” the next time someone asks you if you need anything.
I know this is hard for a lot of us. It could be our ego. It could be our pride. Or it could be that we do not want to burden the people we love. Regardless of what it is, here is the fact…They asked you! So, if they really want to help you out, you are affording them the opportunity to do that. And, if they did not…then, this will be their lesson not to ask again unless they really mean it. But the truth is, we pray and cry and believe for God’s blessings. What if the blessings came by way of our loved ones asking us what they could do to help? How many times have we denied ourselves these blessings?
Commit to saying “YES” to a vacation or short getaway.
Price it, plan it, and go! I know the budget does not always look favorable when thinking about extracurricular activities; however, sometimes they are necessary…for your mental health. Sometimes a quick getaway from the environments we associate with stress can be just what the doctor ordered. In fact, several studies have shown that vacations are correlated with lower stress, less risk of heart disease, and increased motivation to achieve goals. Remember, vacations do not always have to look like sand, clear water, and cabanas. Sometimes they look like a hotel an hour away with an indoor pool and access to Netflix and Hulu.
Commit to saying “YES” to dinner and drinks with a friend.
Hell, it really does not even have to be a friend. It can be an associate that you like talking about trash TV with! Most of my close friends do not live close by. So, there have been times when I have pitied myself because I have no one (other than my hubby) to hang out with. Then, I had this epiphany...I did not have to be best friends with someone to go out and have a good time. Duh!!! This epiphany opened my world. Try it! But the key is to be completely present while you are there. Experience the moment. Laugh. Breathe. Life does not have to be as complicated as we make it. Have fun!
Commit to saying “YES” to mental health and rest days.
Listen up…I understand we have goals to reach and legacies to leave. But here is what I had to understand even more than that, I could not successfully achieve one goal without proper rest and without being in the proper state of mind. As a result, my calendar now has time blocked off to rest both my mind and my body. There are times each week when I disconnect from everything and everyone, except for the people living in my house. Our bodies cannot endure long term mental anguish without a physical response. So, we either make rest a priority or our bodies will make the choice.
So, say “yes” to your boundaries by saying “no” to things that do not serve you. But each time you say “no,” understand that it is because you are committed to self-love and a more meaningful “yes!”
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