Updated: Oct 28, 2021
Pieces of Me: Part III
My dad says, “circumstances are temporary.” My mom says, “this too shall pass.” But, if you’re anything like me, you can hear something repeatedly, yet still not fully understand. Until recently, when I heard these phrases, I applied them to tough seasons in my life…hard times. And understanding that tough times don’t last is an appropriate application. But maturation and wisdom have also taught me that those phrases are applicable to every season of my life. All circumstances are temporary, and everything passes – both the bad and the good. Surrendering to these natural and necessary transitions have been some of my hardest adult moments – Learning to Let Go…With Love.
Nat King Cole sings a song where he asks, “Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?” My answer to this question is a wholehearted and absolute, YES! In fact, I’d expand this to say, "in love, there is no true loss."
Previously, I allowed myself to believe a myth of love – that I could only wholeheartedly love permanent things and permanent people in my life. However, that couldn’t be further from my truth. Because remember, circumstances are temporary, and everything passes. Consequently, living with that thought process had it so that I missed out on so many opportunities to love…because I was afraid. I was afraid to love someone today who may not be here tomorrow. I was afraid to love something today that I’d have to grieve tomorrow.
But Love, I have learned, does not leave because a person or object leaves. Love transcends.
I have had friendships to fade, but the Love that existed within those friendships has not faded. I pray for them.
My husband was not my first boyfriend – there were others, but the Love that existed within those relationships has not diminished. I wish them well.
I have had plants to wither, but the care and attention I provided during their life span was still appreciated. My memories remain fond.
When I began understanding the essence of Love,
I was able to surrender to letting go. Then, once I started to let go, my experiences of loving increased exponentially. I was able to Love the next thing…the next person. And I likely would not have had the capacity for all these things and people at once, but by letting go – I created the necessary space. I made room.
When seasons change, so do I. I make a habit of not holding on to things, people, and places that no longer serve me. This does not mean that the time together was not beneficial. More than likely, it was very beneficial - for that season. While letting go still does not always come easy, I practice embracing it with expectancy!
Usually, when referring to letting go, we think of people. And there may be people we should let go of, but I practice letting go in all areas of my life.
I let go of unworn clothes. (I legit have like 2 shirts I can wear out. I tied up a silk robe and made it a top when my husband and I went out last week! Not having many options decreases the time I spend in the closet though. I’m either wearing “this” or “that.”)
I let go of unnecessary obligations. (Yep, if your meeting has no agenda…I won’t be attending your meeting. I’d love to attend after reviewing the agenda and confirming my presence will add value.)
I let go of other people’s expectations. (I have enough to be concerned with. I cannot…I repeat cannot control your perception of me. Think as you please. I promise to still Love you.)
I let go with Love…with the knowledge that I’m gaining more Love. It’s kind of like 10 – 1 = 15!
This picture signifies my commitment to surrendering to walking away when I need to and Letting Go… With Love.
Photo Credit: Melody Smith Portrait