My Bucket List Cannot Wait
Pieces of Me: Part V
Two years and two months ago, I lost a friend…a sister. Her name was Bianca. And, to date, I consider her to be one of my greatest teachers. In her mid-twenties and while pregnant with my brother’s child, she found out she had stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. The cancer was spreading rapidly. During her pregnancy, she started treatment with the hope of slowing the spread and birthing a healthy baby.
She did, in fact, birth my nephew…almost three years ago on my birthday, November 30th.
After the delivery and as the cancer continued to spread, aggressive treatment began. During this process, Bianca asked me to make decisions on her behalf – to include medical decisions. While this was a heavy responsibility, I accepted. You see, Bianca had grown up in group homes since she was an adolescent. So, the bond she and I shared was special. It was loyal. It was safe. It was stable.
While being treated, the hospital became home for both of us. She transferred to a hospital close to my job. This way, I would go to work and check-in. Then, I’d take my computer and set up shop in the hospital room. The nurses became friends, and the hospital food became delicacies.
On September 17, 2019, my heart broke as Bianca took her last breath from a hospice facility in her hometown. She was surrounded by a small group of people who loved her.
One day before she passed, and as we continued to harbor hope for the best of outcomes, we decided to make a bucket list. We listed everything we would do once she kicked cancers ass! We wanted to take road trips with the top down on the car. We wanted to go to the children’s hospital and have make-up days with other little girls fighting cancer. We wanted to live our lives freely!
Together, we did not get to do this. But after her passing, I promised myself that I could not wait for death to come knocking before I lived my bucket list.
This first picture represents the way Bianca taught me to live every day.
I choose to live free.