top of page

What I Didn't Know When I Got Married

Updated: Oct 28, 2021

Pieces of Me: Part II

Y’all! When we first got married, we knew everything. We were looking around at other couples struggling, like… “What’s wrong with them? It is not that hard!” I’m sure they were looking back at us like we look at other couples now saying, “just keep on living…”

When you’re dating – let’s be real – it’s something close to utopia. Everyone is putting their best foot forward…looking good, talking good, loving your family…all of that! And then the inevitable happens – change. People change, seasons change, circumstances change…and this is what should be happening, but who is really an expert in change?! I mean, they create entire positions and teams in the workforce to manage change. But are we trained to do this in our own personal lives? I was not.

Today marks the 14th wedding anniversary for my husband and I…and I still consider him to be one of my very best choices. There are, however, so many learnings about love and more specifically romantic love that I’d love to share with you solely based off our experiences. So, let’s talk about it…

Ten things they wanted to tell you but couldn’t…because even if they had told you, you probably wouldn’t have heard them.

1. There will be days that you all do not like each other. Now, of course, the days you all do like each other will far outweigh the days you do not. So, when these days come, remember that feelings are temporary, and they will pass.

2. Your wedding ring is a covering for your finger – not your eyes. Hence, both you and your partner will sometimes be distracted by people and situations that are pleasing to your eyes. This is normal. Be sure to create a space for open and honest communication where you all can hold each other accountable.

3. Great sex will quickly get boring if this area of the relationship isn’t nurtured. So, those same moves from the 99-2000 need to be tweaked. No one wants a robot on repeat!

4. The person you commit to on your wedding day will likely be a completely different person years after your wedding day. Consequently, we must commit to learning and relearning our partners every single day. If not, we will likely end up living with a stranger.

5. Good friends should not be forsaken just because we get married. It’s easy to think that “All you need in this life of sin is you and your boy/girlfriend.” BUT (refer to #1), you are going to want someone else to go out to eat with sometimes 😊

6. Have someone (or a couple) in mind that you all can talk to when times get tough…because times will get tough. And this doesn’t necessarily mean that you all will have problems with each other, but life will happen. Your parents will age. Your children wi